Tuesday, December 20, 2011

happy holidays

  Just wanted to pass on my wishes for you guys to have a happy holiday season. Even though things can get a little crazy, remember what this time of the year is really about. Take care of your loved ones, especially the kids.
  So, enjoy your family and have a great new years celebration, and keep it under control.
  I'll talk to you guys in 2012.

Friday, December 9, 2011

It's her day

  I was noticing on those television shows that feature home videos or videos of people crashing that they like to show wedding videos. The wedding videos that make this show usually feature some tool acting in very poor taste, dancing badly or generally displaying lack of judgment. These idiots have usually drank too much and look like absolute fools.
  But the part that really bothers me is when the video shows the bride falling or being dropped by somebody. You guys have got to remember that this young lady has waited her whole life for this day and you really should not ruin it. Keep your drinking, your dancing and your enthusiasm under control. Just because there is a video camera running, doesn't mean it's on to watch you.
  So when the beautiful bride, in her great white gown, is on the dance floor, dancing with the guests, do not go out there and proceed to show off your lack of dancing skills by trying to jitter bug, salsa dance or swing dance with the bride. There's a pretty good chance that one of you doesn't know how to do that particular dance style and the other one probably shouldn't be doing it.
  Also, the brides feet should never leave the floor, ever, do not pick her up for any reason. I swear, every time someone tries to pick her up they end up falling and the bride ends up hitting the floor. Not cool. You have just ruined her day and made the highlight reel showing some drunk idiot at a wedding dropping the bride.
  So act like a gentleman while at a wedding reception, treat the bride with the respect she deserves on her special day. I really don't want to see you on some stupid television show.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Let's make a list

  I thought I'd jot down a list for you, these are some of my thoughts on manhood. We may have talked about some of these already and we may talk about some in the future, who knows? Some of these bug me and some of these are what I expect from you as a man.
1. Respect. You've got to give it, to get it. You can not demand it, you've got to      earn it.
2. If you're going to drink, drink responsibly. There's nothing worse than a             drunk guy at any sort of gathering. You look like a fool, a drunk fool. And I'll     say it again, do not drink and drive. I don't think there is a penalty severe            enough for when the cops bust someone for DUI.
3. Take care of your family. If you have brought another life into this world, you     need to be there for that child. And I don't mean by laying on the couch all          day doing nothing but getting high. You need to take care of that baby.
4. Treat women with great care, respect and kindness. Remember, they are  the     fairer sex and you need to keep them from harm. And if I ever hear of one of       you guys hitting a woman, I will personally come over and stomp a mud hole       in you.
5. Act like a grown up, you're not in high school anymore.
6. Don't beat me with your religious or political views, I have my own and I           think yours suck anyways. The ideas you're beating me with also show me        that you have no original thoughts and by trying to convince me, shows me         that your trying to convince yourself. You'll believe anything that they shove        down your throat.
7. Take care of the little people out there. Kids are innocent and need to be             taken care of. And refer to my warning in number 4 up there, if I hear of you       harming a child.
8. Quit your whining, god I hate whining. Everyone has problems, get off your         sorry ass and fix yours.
9. Go outside and play, put the remote down and get out in the sunshine.
10. Call your mom. She misses you and is very proud of you.
11. Go get the spider, mouse or whatever it is that is making her scream and            remove it from her presence.
12. Get yourself a florist and put your credit card on file with them. I learned
      this a few years ago. My florist can get flowers to anyone, anywhere. That
      comes in very handy at times.
13. Make something. I don't care if it's dinner, a house or a mess. Unleash your
      creativity and let it run, go with it.
  Alright, that's it, 13 is my lucky number and that's probably enough for now. We'll let these roll and see what comes of it.