I was stomping around when I noticed a desperate attempt at awesomeness, that had gone horribly wrong. I hadn't brought this up earlier because I had thought this particular clothing accessory had faded away. I was wrong.
I'm speaking, of course, about the fanny pack. Fellas, and you ladies out there, a fanny pack is never ok. I don't care what color it is, or what the logo is on it, or if it has water bottle holsters on it, make all the arguments you want, just, no. Don't do it.
As a matter of fact, you should probably avoid too many belt accessories. If you feel the need to wear a wallet chain, keep it to just the chain. Don't add a key chain that carries every key you have ever come across in your life, or multiple key chains, with even more keys. It just makes you look like the janitor. And there's nothing wrong with being a janitor, but I bet if you asked most janitors, they leave their keys at work. Also, don't add some cheesy looking folding knife in a crappy looking case, or a goofy looking cell phone case, even if it's a limited edition KISS case, you ain't cool with all this shit hanging from your dorky looking belt.
About the only guys that can get away with wearing a lot of stuff around their waists are carpenters. These guys need to have their tools easily accessible and they can't be making multiple trips to their trucks to get things, especially if they are on the roof, or a long distance from their trucks. Time is always important in the construction industry, so they need to be very efficient.
So go easy on the crap you hang from around your waist, it's not a good look. And I'm pretty sure the ladies don't find it sexy or think that it makes you look important. If you feel the need to carry around all sorts trinkets, get yourself a decent looking backpack, or a bigger car.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Women
So I'm not gonna tell you guys that I know anything about women, but I do have some ideas about 'em and I can tell you how I "feel" about women.
I've been married to a wonderful woman for 25 years and I can still say, to this day, that I do not understand her, or any other woman for that matter. One of the things that I do know, is that men need to treat women like the beautiful, delicate creatures that they are. Throughout the ages women have been treated with varying degrees of respect. You can pick any time in history and find that women were protected and oppressed at the same time. So I'd like to tell you to look to a certain time as an example how to treat women, but I don't think there is that perfect spot in history.
What I can tell you is, to open the door for them. Simple acts of kindness, they are the fairer sex, you guys are the big strong ones, be nice to 'em. Now I understand that they can be frustrating and test your patience (remember, I've been married 25 years and I have a 19 year old daughter). But as much as you hate to admit it, almost everything you do as a male is done to get their attention, so you really do like 'em. I know some of you are gonna disagree with me, but near as I can figure it, men do most things in their lives for three different reasons. To impress other men of the tribe to ensure their place in the pack, to impress women and to feed and protect their family. That's why as pre-teenage boys we fight with each other and as teenagers and beyond we dress a certain way and drive certain cars and do other seemingly stupid things to impress women. Then we work hard to provide and protect our families while still trying to impress other tribe members and women.
So you're already doing all this work you might as well be nice to 'em, it'll make your life a lot easier.
I'm fully aware of those days when, we as men, just don't get along with the lady in our life and it's usually caused by miscommunication. What I can gather is, your lady has an idea in her head when she asks you some sort of vague question. Now, she already has a response in her head that she is expecting to hear you say. The problem is when you don't give the anticipated answer, that's when things start to go wrong. You see, women really think about things, really, a lot. As men, we are generally not thinking about these same things, and they can't understand that. What I have explained to the women in my life is, instead of asking me the vague question, explain to me what they're thinking so we can come to an agreement on their thoughts. Since we try to communicate this way in my house, I now get strange, very random things being brought up as topics for conversation. I know it makes sense to them but it usually catches me by surprise and yet makes for great talks and we can usually laugh at how the topic came up. The other thing I've tried to explain to ladies is, that men are pretty simple beings and when we say something, that's usually what we meant. Yup, that simple, we say what we mean.
The other thing I've noticed is that men try to use logic in their thinking, while women seem to rely mainly on their feelings. So if you don't realize your lady is approaching a decision by examining her feelings and you are trying to present your ideas, logically, the whole process has the possibility of going very wrong. No one way to make decisions or solve problems is the perfect way, we all have different methods. But if you take a second to realize where your lady is coming from, you may be able to avoid some arguments. A little compromise on your part will save you a lot of grief and you're man enough to let her be right aren't you? There's no need to push your ideas so hard that it causes her and you to become upset and it causes the decision to get blown way out of proportion. It's not life or death, relax and she will also. The situation will get handled, usually by using a combination of feelings and logic. That's why you two make such a good team.
The last thing I want to touch on regarding women (I don't think we're done with this topic) before I go pour a beer, is crying. Sometimes women just need to cry, and as men we just don't understand this phenomenon. Typically as men, thinking logically, we want to fix her problem. When there is really none to be fixed, she just needs to cry. Giving credit to where credit is due, my awesome wife is the person who helped me learn this lesson. I've a teenage daughter crying in the backseat of my truck after volleyball practice and there I am, trying to fix her "problem". Every time I made a suggestion it just made the cry that much worse. Finally, my wife quietly told me to stop being logical and let her cry, we'd get her home and feed her, then suddenly all was better. Amazing, she just needed to get all the emotion out of her and get some food and it was all good again. Take this information fellas and use it, get her some ice cream, a blanket and just be there while she cries, don't try to fix anything. You'll be a hero and it's pretty easy, you just gotta be nice and be able to let her cry. It's ok that they are more emotional and we're more logical, it would suck if we were all the same.
I've been married to a wonderful woman for 25 years and I can still say, to this day, that I do not understand her, or any other woman for that matter. One of the things that I do know, is that men need to treat women like the beautiful, delicate creatures that they are. Throughout the ages women have been treated with varying degrees of respect. You can pick any time in history and find that women were protected and oppressed at the same time. So I'd like to tell you to look to a certain time as an example how to treat women, but I don't think there is that perfect spot in history.
What I can tell you is, to open the door for them. Simple acts of kindness, they are the fairer sex, you guys are the big strong ones, be nice to 'em. Now I understand that they can be frustrating and test your patience (remember, I've been married 25 years and I have a 19 year old daughter). But as much as you hate to admit it, almost everything you do as a male is done to get their attention, so you really do like 'em. I know some of you are gonna disagree with me, but near as I can figure it, men do most things in their lives for three different reasons. To impress other men of the tribe to ensure their place in the pack, to impress women and to feed and protect their family. That's why as pre-teenage boys we fight with each other and as teenagers and beyond we dress a certain way and drive certain cars and do other seemingly stupid things to impress women. Then we work hard to provide and protect our families while still trying to impress other tribe members and women.
So you're already doing all this work you might as well be nice to 'em, it'll make your life a lot easier.
I'm fully aware of those days when, we as men, just don't get along with the lady in our life and it's usually caused by miscommunication. What I can gather is, your lady has an idea in her head when she asks you some sort of vague question. Now, she already has a response in her head that she is expecting to hear you say. The problem is when you don't give the anticipated answer, that's when things start to go wrong. You see, women really think about things, really, a lot. As men, we are generally not thinking about these same things, and they can't understand that. What I have explained to the women in my life is, instead of asking me the vague question, explain to me what they're thinking so we can come to an agreement on their thoughts. Since we try to communicate this way in my house, I now get strange, very random things being brought up as topics for conversation. I know it makes sense to them but it usually catches me by surprise and yet makes for great talks and we can usually laugh at how the topic came up. The other thing I've tried to explain to ladies is, that men are pretty simple beings and when we say something, that's usually what we meant. Yup, that simple, we say what we mean.
The other thing I've noticed is that men try to use logic in their thinking, while women seem to rely mainly on their feelings. So if you don't realize your lady is approaching a decision by examining her feelings and you are trying to present your ideas, logically, the whole process has the possibility of going very wrong. No one way to make decisions or solve problems is the perfect way, we all have different methods. But if you take a second to realize where your lady is coming from, you may be able to avoid some arguments. A little compromise on your part will save you a lot of grief and you're man enough to let her be right aren't you? There's no need to push your ideas so hard that it causes her and you to become upset and it causes the decision to get blown way out of proportion. It's not life or death, relax and she will also. The situation will get handled, usually by using a combination of feelings and logic. That's why you two make such a good team.
The last thing I want to touch on regarding women (I don't think we're done with this topic) before I go pour a beer, is crying. Sometimes women just need to cry, and as men we just don't understand this phenomenon. Typically as men, thinking logically, we want to fix her problem. When there is really none to be fixed, she just needs to cry. Giving credit to where credit is due, my awesome wife is the person who helped me learn this lesson. I've a teenage daughter crying in the backseat of my truck after volleyball practice and there I am, trying to fix her "problem". Every time I made a suggestion it just made the cry that much worse. Finally, my wife quietly told me to stop being logical and let her cry, we'd get her home and feed her, then suddenly all was better. Amazing, she just needed to get all the emotion out of her and get some food and it was all good again. Take this information fellas and use it, get her some ice cream, a blanket and just be there while she cries, don't try to fix anything. You'll be a hero and it's pretty easy, you just gotta be nice and be able to let her cry. It's ok that they are more emotional and we're more logical, it would suck if we were all the same.
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