Antieb Recht...That's German for Drive Right

Except for the job I currently have, I have driven professionally for over 20 years, usually some sort of truck. I grew up driving in Los Angeles traffic and I've driven up and down the state of California more times than I care to remember. My introduction to the bay area was after the Oakland earthquake, so I got to drive the 880 during all that awesome construction. My first run into "the city", San Francisco, was in a 30 foot car hauler. It carried one car over the cab, two on the bed and towed the last one behind it, like a regular tow truck. The truck was an International with a DT466 engine and a 10 speed Road Ranger transmission, a transmission that you went through 5 gears then pulled up on a "splitter" and did all 5 gears again and except for starting out, you don't use the clutch. That's right, a city full of hills with a 10 speed manual transmission, talk about trial by fire. The last truck I drove was a Peterbilt 379 with a big Caterpillar engine and a 13 speed transmission, dragging a 50 foot air ride reefer trailer up and down the state.
So I've driven with a lot of others around me and, holy crap, some of 'em shouldn't be licensed to drive. Guys, I take driving pretty seriously, so when you don't, it irritates the shit outta me. 80,000 pounds doesn't exactly stop on a dime so don't lane change the big rig and then brake check him.
Basically, pay attention, if you're in the fast lane doing 60 mph while texting or talking on your phone, I'm gonna flip you off as I pass you on the right. And speaking of the right, the title of this rant, Antieb Recht, is a German way of life. It's a big campaign for the Autobahn, slower traffic needs to move right and drivers need to drive right. In the part of the world I live, the 101 freeway has only 2 lanes and most guys don't know to move to the right lane unless they're passing. Slower traffic needs to move to the right, especially if your driving something pulling a trailer.
Now that you know which lane to drive in, drive. Why do I see all these guys ridin' shotgun, while they're lady is driving? You ain't looking so tough over there stud, so don't be passing out hard looks while your lady is grabbing gears. What happened? Did you lose your license? Is it her car and she won't let you drive it? Are you unable to own your own car? Does she let you change the radio station? Hmmm...
Speaking of gears, you better be able to drive a stick. Both my kids' first cars were manuals, so you have no excuse. I'm beginning to think driving a stick is a dieing art. As a man, I would expect you to be in touch with your vehicle and to operate it with style and grace.
Now I'm seeing these girly boys driving around with a god damn dog on their laps. And these guys are all different ages, from grandpas to teenagers. I don't get it, dogs go in the back of trucks, properly tied in, not in your lap while you're driving (and I wouldn't even consider some of 'em dogs). You can't pay attention to the road with some little fur ball hanging half way out the drivers window while your driving along at 25 mph in that 35 mph zone. Put the damn dog in the back and pay attention.

I have about a 35 mile drive to work and for about 4 to 5 months out of the year I ride my motorcycle. Luckily the traffic I drive in isn't nearly to the level of L.A. or the bay area. Unfortunately I do hafta drive with tourists, and man, these guys can't drive a car and now they're behind the wheel of a motor home or a truck pulling a big trailer. It's almost like they don't realize there are other cars on the road. They poke along, swerve across lanes, and these guys don't seem to understand how big their vehicles are. They should hafta pass a test to drive these rv's, just as you do to drive a commercial truck. There are times I want to yank 'em outta their motor homes by the scruff of their necks and take the keys from 'em.
And I swear to Odin, if I catch any of you drinking and driving, I will yank your sorry ass outta that car and you will never find your keys again.
So focus fellas, there are other people on the road with you. Pay attention, treat other drivers with respect and we'll all get to where we're going.